My Perspective on time is not an activity in nostalgia.
Where is my future?
Is it in front of me or behind me?
Can I find it in my past?
What is becoming of this landscape
that makes up my memories I’m lost!
I’m looking for a past that wasn’t even there.
I’m listening to the past to try and find some direction
to find the thoughts
that drove me to where I’m at now,
who else has been listening?
Into my past who has seen
My memories does anyone give a shit.
Guided by a concern for the future,
I’m looking to the past
to find intellectual,
emotional,
spiritual guidance.
What really happened there
in the past what have
I inherited?
Have I deliberately distorted my memories
am I doing it now?
Imagining alternative distortions
that have lead me to set new goals
and work towards new ends,
is this a forward expression
of a deliberate lie,
I’m now making a memory
that feels so out of place
but at that very same time
it starts to feel right
am I reflecting on the wrong memory
or a
fictionalised one
that now looks
right,
this is not an activity in nostalgia.
I’ve been weaving my individual memories
with that of others shared experiences,
my personally significant landmarks,
my images,
my personal objects
or
were they someone else’s
that I came to acquire?
and moments my moments
to make up an understanding
of where
I am now and where
I have been and where
I want to go.
The inevitability of it all changing.
Jack Lavender (b. 1983, Canterbury, lives and works in Margate) received his BFA from UCA Canterbury in 2009 and MA in Sculpture from the Royal College of Art in 2012. His work has been exhibited internationally with Solo Exhibitions at BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, Gateshead, The Approach, London, Mihai Nicodim, Los Angeles, Independent, New York. Jack is Represented by The Approach, London.